The quiet leader

By Tara Cavanaugh

"You've got the spokespeople, the ones who give the inspirational speeches. And then you've got the actual leaders – the ones who lead the movements behind the scenes." -Laura Wernick
SALINE- With her chin-length bob and geek-chic glasses, Emma Upham looks like any other bookish teen from a small town. Sitting in a coffee shop, the tiny young woman picks at a muffin, tears through a thick book of crossword puzzles, and appears as harmless and forgettable as anyone else there.
But don't let her appearance fool you.
This past fall, the 17-year-old helped propel the pristine town of Saline to statewide spotlight. President of her high school's GSA, she pushed the school board for an LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination policy. As a result, the school board received hundreds of e-mails from concerned citizens from all over the state, and was even threatened with a lawsuit from the American Family Association of Michigan.
"She led that whole effort for five months," said Laura Wernick, who works at the Neutral Zone, a teen center in Ann Arbor. The Neutral Zone is home to Riot Youth, an LGBT group Upham helps lead.
The addition of LGBT-inclusive language into the district's non-discrimination policy eventually failed in a 4-3 vote. A few members of the school board appeared uncomfortable with including transgender students in the policy, and after an attempt to remove such language failed, they voted against it. But Upham is unfazed.
She said Saline High's GSA, Spectrum, will "definitely" bring the issue to the board again. "We want to get that policy in there. We want to make sure it stays there through different administrations, different (leaders)," she said. In fact, the GSA still sends members to the often yawn-inducing school board meetings, just to remind the board they're still there.
Upham knows that the school board could eventually be persuaded to vote in favor of changing the policy because of how much her school and town were affected last fall.
"There was a campaign some of the teachers did, where they wore little rainbow ribbons on their nametags. And there are (Human Rights Campaign) stickers everywhere now," she said, beaming in between bites of muffin.
Even better, the issue piqued the genuine curiosity of other teens. "I got asked all the time about it," she said. "All the time!"
Upham explained to students – many who had never talked to her before – what it's like to be an LGBT student in high school, and how changing the non-discrimination policy could help change the often-homophobic high school climate. "There are a lot of people who don't feel safe in school," she said. "I have friends who don't feel safe in school coming out or even admitting to themselves that they might be questioning, and that's very reflective of the climate."
Upham still explains this to students, because they keep asking her questions.
"She's someone that people talk to," Wernick said. "She's not Miss Popularity, but people really look to her as a leader.
"You've got the spokespeople, the ones who give the inspirational speeches," Wernick said. "And then you've got the actual leaders – the ones who lead the movements behind the scenes. She's one of the most important people we have."
Upham, who readily admits that she's "a lot more comfortable on an individual level with people," became president of Spectrum by accident. She said it took her months to stop shaking when she started attended meetings at the Neutral Zone.
"She's more interested in the good of the whole than about herself," Wernick said. "She's really concerned about how to move forward and not just let one person dominate the conversation."
"It's a lot of listening, it's a lot of reading people and a lot of like alright, so how's the group doing now … how do we want to focus more so we can get to that deeper place with the conversation," Upham said.
Upham tries to make sure everyone in each group she leads is reached.
"The quiet, shy kids come in and they're just looking for a place to find some community and blossom into cool, leader, outgoing people," she said. "Which is totally what happened to me."
How did that happen? "There are all sorts of opportunities for subcommittees or projects or whatever, and I just kept volunteering. And from that I got to meet people and find a place there and then it just took off and kept going," she said, shrugging. "The more I push myself, the more I grow."
So what's next for the teen, who drops words like "heteronormativity" as easily as she does "totally" and "cool"?
For now, she's helping create a coalition to help other high schools create their own GSA's. As for her post-high school plans, she has no idea. "I'd like to keep doing this, but I'm not sure how," she said.
Whatever she ends up doing, there's no doubt this quiet leader will keep pushing, growing, and getting noticed.