By Beverly Davidson
As I was looking into my daughter's eyes today, I saw how amazed and curious she is about the world, even at 11 weeks old. For her, it is a world full of opportunity, hope, joy and love. She has two moms who adore her and do nothing but love her every day. She does not know that only one of her moms can legally protect her. She does not know that one of her moms has fears of losing her if I die, or if we separate. She does not know that her world, one that is filled with wonder, is also filled with inequalities for her family.
All parents want to give their children a better life than they had. I can understand that desire now more than ever. I constantly wonder, "How can I shield my daughter from pain?" Sometimes as a parent we cannot always protect our children. We cannot be there for every bump, bruise and fall, and that may be the most painful part of parenting. However, most parents can provide their children with the most basic protections. But in our family, the law will not let us even do that. How do you explain this to your child?
Same-sex parents have been at a legal disadvantage for years without the option of second parent adoption. Michigan's law is ambiguous at best. Washtenaw County, the one local jurisdiction that regularly performed second parent adoptions stopped this process over three years ago. The Coalition for Adoption Rights Equality formed shortly thereafter. CARE has been working to change the adoption code to explicitly allow for second parent adoptions. Second parent adoptions would allow for unmarried parents to both be legally recognized under the law.
Now, there is hope. A pro-family adoption bill was introduced in the House of Representatives by State Representative Paul Condino (D-Southfield). Currently, most adoption legislation in the country centers around banning gays from fostering or adopting. Michigan is the first state to introduce a bill protecting children of same-sex parents. Currently, Michigan law allows gays to be foster/adoptive parents, but only one parent can serve as the legal parent. This is contradictory to the needs of a child, especially one who has been abused or neglected. This bill allows for two unmarried parents to jointly adopt a child from foster care. If there are two parents who are willing and able to raise the child, they both should be allowed to provide health and pension benefits, life insurance, and economic protections. This bill offers foster children the protections they deserve.
The bill also allows an already existing legal parent to directly consent to his or her partner adopting the child they are raising together. This would give same-sex parents another option in which to structure their family. For me, I would be able to give my daughter a great gift – her Mama would become her legal parent along with me. Our daughter would never have to worry that she would be taken away from her Mama. She would never have to worry that, should her moms separate, she would be denied time with either of us. She would always know that both her parents would always be there. And I would be able to say to her that her world is safe and just, just as she thought it was when she first came into it.
We need your support now more than ever. Please call or email your state representative and ask him or her to support this legislation. Write an editorial to your local paper highlighting the need for this law to pass. Ask your family and friends to do the same.
We cannot shield our children from every cry or every heartache, but, by fighting for laws that provide them with all of the protections of other children with two married parents, we can at least look them in the eye and tell them we did everything we could to make the world a better and safer place for them.
For more information about this legislation and how to get involved, contact CARE at [email protected] or visit their website at http://www.secondparentadoption.org.
