Chris Salvatore on Why He Left OnlyFans, Hateful DMs and His Return to Acting in ‘Scorch Marks’
After a headline reduced his answer to one word, the ‘Eating Out’ actor explains: ‘I needed emotional connection before intimacy’
Chris Salvatore is hiding in his bathroom. It’s the only room in the house without carpet, and the flooring guy is measuring all the others.
The flooring is the simple part of his week. Days earlier, an interview with Out meant to promote his new horror film, “Scorch Marks,” ended up spotlighting why he left OnlyFans, and pickups boiled his answer down to one word: empty. He says the hate messages followed.
Salvatore is careful not to blame the outlet, but he wants to explain. The problem was never shame about the work. It was a realization about himself: that he needed alcohol to get through intimate collaborations with creators he’d just met, and that, looking back, he had rarely hooked up sober at all. Near the end of our conversation, he shares something he believes may be at the root of it.
It’s heavy territory for the boy-next-door lead of the “Eating Out” franchise, the cult gay comedies that made him a fixture of queer indie film. Salvatore, 41, stepped back from acting during his OnlyFans years, moved home to Pennsylvania for two years to care for his parents and became an internet favorite for looking after his elderly neighbor, Norma.
“Scorch Marks,” which premiered at FilmOut San Diego and is available exclusively on the queer streamer Dekkoo, is his first film in more than five years and his first turn as a villain. Writer-director Brendan Haley frames it as a critique of how heteronormative culture damages queer people, and Salvatore plays Joel, a toxic executive who returns as a demon to haunt his business partner and lover, Beckett (Brandon Szczepkowski).
Salvatore talks with us about the drinking, the DMs, playing against type and a possible “Eating Out” revival. But mostly, he wanted the chance to say it in his own words this time.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What happened with the Out story?
I did an interview with [Out] that was supposed to be about “Scorch Marks,” and [we] talked about my OnlyFans. [Other outlets] shortened the headline to “it made me feel empty,” and I’m like, that’s not really what I said. But now I'm getting all these hate messages, and I'm like, ugh. I've always been a proponent of trying to go against the prejudice of sex work and sex workers, and if people don't read the article and they just see that headline, it doesn't help much with trying to combat that prejudice. I mean, there were times after filming these collabs with other creators where I did feel empty, but that was because — and I explained this to the reporter but I don't think they put [it] in the article — I've always felt like I needed emotional connection before intimacy.
“Sex work is work, and I champion sex work, and I think that it’s great that people have that opportunity to do that work and make the money. But I also feel a responsibility, because of my experience, to share it, since it’s just not talked about enough.”
— Chris Salvatore
I was really lucky to have my photographer, Lester Villarama, who I've known for years and we're best friends, so I trust him in the room with me. But meeting these new people and then getting right to being intimate with them, I would use alcohol to calm my nerves. Sometimes I would feel empty afterwards, because I would be like, wow, I needed to use alcohol to get to this point. After a while, I'm like, is this really aligning with who I am as a person, and am I trying to force this too much to the point where I do have to use substances to feel like I can even do it? And that's what I meant to say.
Was that the first time you felt like you needed a substance to engage sexually?
No, it's interesting because I've spent time on Grindr, and I've had one-night stands and quick hookups before, and I think what made me come to that realization doing OnlyFans was because I was remembering the times where I was quick to hop into bed with someone. It always kind of came after drinks. It would be very rare that I would engage sexually with someone else when I didn't have a few drinks or I didn't come home from [the] bar, unless I was in a relationship where you know the person better, and you have established a connection. But I started remembering, I was like, wow, has there ever been a time where I hopped on Grindr and was looking for a hookup, and I was sober, and I was like, I can't really think of many times. So that kind of became the conversation with myself. Maybe that’s something that I need to look further at. Maybe I’m just not built that way. And I know there's nothing wrong with the other way, and just having casual sex and being able to do that, but for me, when I felt like I had to drink in order to get there, I was like, maybe that means it's just not how I'm built.
How are you dealing with the hateful DMs?
I thought that I had been better about that over the years. I'm 41 now, so I've been in the entertainment industry for almost 20 years of my life. I'm used to seeing the negative comments. I feel like we don't do any favors in the gay community for other gay men that may have had success in areas. We tear each other down, and not everyone, but I feel like it does come from a lot of insecurities, and for good reason. We grow up with a lot of shame, and we grow up with a lot of insecurities that maybe other communities don't have to really deal with as children, so I understand it.
One time, when I was taking care of my elderly neighbor, a guy went on and on online about me stealing her money to get a part of her will. That really hurt. So I wrote back and said, I see you, I hear you, and sent a virtual hug. And he responded, “Oh, wow, I never thought you would respond. Thank you so much, I'm sorry I said that, I'm just not having a great day.” People say things that sometimes they don't even mean. They're trying to feel better sometimes about what's going on in their own life.
How did stepping back into acting with “Scorch Marks” feel after your OnlyFans years?
I took a break from acting because, honestly, I did feel like, who wants to hire me because of what I was thinking people were saying. So when Brendan Haley, the writer and director, contacted me to portray Joel in “Scorch Marks,” I was so excited. I was living with my parents in Pennsylvania and was kind of going crazy. And horror is one of my favorite genres. He told me a little bit about Joel and I read the script and I was like, wow, this has been a role that I've been wanting to play for a long time because it's something I've really never played before. I’m usually the guy-next-door type, romcom-ish kind of character. Playing the villain, I needed a lot of good pep talks from Brendan, too, because I was like, am I even gonna be able to pull this off?
Was going against type part of you saying, I don't want to be the guy from “Eating Out” anymore?
I don't think I thought about it like that. I feel like every actor sometimes starts to feel like if they play a similar role over and over, am I being pigeonholed into this one little thing? But I never really minded. I just was so excited that maybe I could show off some of my acting chops. It's not just reciting lines as myself anymore; it's really kind of going into the psyche of someone who is very disturbed.
How does that heteronormative pressure show up in Joel and Beckett's relationship?
Yeah, it's interesting. Because Joel and Beckett work together, as business partners, and romantic partners, and definitely toxic romantic partners. Being a gay man in a business with these heavy hitters, where almost all the men are straight — and in the real world, they usually are, too — it’s almost like I had to channel my inner butchness because in real life, I feel like sometimes as gay men, we code switch, too, in different situations and settings, especially in business environments where it's very cutthroat. Because we don't want to come across soft or weak. I know many gay men that work in industries like that where they tell me that they're not even out at work. I was channeling a straight man and trying to kind of turn up the masculinity and aggression. Not only for the thrill of haunting Beckett, but also Joel as the character in his line of work.
What's next? Has there been talk of another “Eating Out”?
I feel like it's coming soon, and sign me up for it. I would love to do it again. I see some comments when I talk about it, it's like, oh, what is it gonna be, “Eating Out: Nursing Home”? [Laughs.] At this point, probably. Not a bad idea! It sounds actually pretty funny! Having taken a break from acting, and then having done “Scorch Marks,” it's just definitely reignited that passion, that acting bug in me, so I'm just excited to see what comes next. And I'm writing a book about my time that I spent with my elderly neighbor, Norma. And a children's book about it. I think about her every day, and I just know that she's up there, and she's like, keep going, Chris. And I just want to share her story. She was such an amazing woman.
You told Out that stepping away from OnlyFans might not be forever. What would it take to get you back?
Just talking about what was happening over time with feeling like I needed to drink a couple drinks, or take a couple shots, I feel like there is some work that needs to be done with that. And, honestly, I’ll be vulnerable here with you and for your readers and talk about this: There has been a history of sexual abuse when I was a child. So I tend to wonder if that has anything to do with it. It has been brought up in therapy, but to just really kind of investigate why it sometimes takes a few drinks for me to feel intimate with someone, I would definitely want to just figure that out before I got back into it.
I remember there was one time where I told my photographer, Lester, because he knew what was happening and he was concerned, and we would talk about it openly, and I was like, hey, how about for this collaboration, I’m not going to drink and I’m going to see how it goes. And I remember just feeling really just uncomfortable the whole time. So it's just obvious to myself that there's something there that I need to just talk about more with a professional.
I feel like talking about that openly and honestly, if it just helps one person who reads this article be like, wow, I went through the same thing, and I go through the same thing now, with sexual activity, maybe it just makes them pause for a moment. But I feel like, as gay men, we do carry a lot of shame, and there are experiences that we go through when we're younger that can really be buried deep down in our psyche, that cause us to use substances or behave in reckless ways sometimes. So I just want to always be open and honest about my own experiences and hopefully that helps other people out there.
What do you want people to understand about sex work after all this?
The prejudice about sex work can feel overwhelming. Feeling kind of like you're reduced to subpar, below society even, with a scarlet letter on your chest. I think over time that can wear on people's psyche.
Sex work is work, and I champion sex work, and I think that it's great that people have that opportunity to do that work and make the money. But I also feel a responsibility, because of my experience, to share it, since it’s just not talked about enough. It could be a slippery slope, and if you don't have a good support system around you, you could get wound up in the wrong things. And it wasn't all bad. There were many, many times where it was very fun, and I got to pay my bills, I got to help my family, I got to shower people with gifts. I'm a gift giver, so yes, I loved making money doing that, but it's just, I have a responsibility to be truthful and honest about it as well.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-656-4673, by texting “HOPE” to 64673 or online at RAINN.org/hotline. For help with substance use, SAMHSA’s National Helpline is free and confidential at 1-800-662-4357.
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