Raccoons get called many things: nuisance animals, bandits, trash pandas.
But one raccoon in University Heights, Ohio made it clear that what they want to be called is "Fabulous."
But without a way to communicate this desire to the neighborhood using language, and without disposable income, Fabulous resorted to stealing a Pride flag, carrying it up a tree, and making a super gay nest.
Charlie Olivo noticed that the flag was missing from the home he shares with his husband and their dog Daisy upon returning from work, according to 19 News. Concerned, he reached out to the neighborhood via Facebook, asking if anyone else had a flag missing. But no one else did.
And that's when Fabulous was outed by Daisy who started barking at something high up in a tree. Lo and behold, it turns out that their Pride flag wasn't swiped in an act of anti-LGBTQ vandalism. It was swiped by a Chonky Raccoon Qween who just wanted to spruce things up a bit with some colorful home decor.
And while some might chide Daisy for not letting Fabulous come out on their own terms, in her defense, Daisy is a dog.
An unlikely bandit takes a couple's Prideüåà flag from their University Heights home in broad daylight.
— Sia Nyorkorüåüüé•üéûüéôüì∫ (@TVNewsLady) May 3, 2021
19 News interviewed a neighbor who, in solidarity with Olivo and his husband, bought 11 Pride flags and gave them out to neighbors. So now there are 12 Pride flags flying on the street, counting the one that now belongs to Fabulous.
In other words, it turns out that LGBTQ Pride, like rabies, is contagious and can be spread by raccoons. Only one of them is deadly, however. The other one has us LIVING, HONEY.
As for Fabulous, the only statement made available for the press was, "It's almost Pride month, so please leave cat food in a little dish on your porch ok thx bye."